"First Bitches"

I freaking hate people who try to post first responses on blogs. Now, if you happen to be the first and have a meaningful comment, then, good for you!

Usually though, they are in fact not the first and they look like douchebags. Or, even if they are in fact first they are not contributing anything to the discussion.

Congrats! You are "first" in:

1. Not having a life.
2. Being a douchebag
3. Never getting laid
4. Not having a job
5. Not having been outside your mom's basement for weeks